Ok, have we left anyone out, now?

Prof: When Stevens wakes up every morning, he gets a surprise. O’Connor is sick. We thought Rehnquist was going to last forever.

While we're at it...

Prof: This is a typical Douglas opinion… which is to say that it’s virtually unintelligible.

Not to get personal...

Prof: [Justice] Holmes was a dirty old man. And he was mean-spirited. The fact that he is lionized by so many people should be disturbing.

Law students aren't drunks! They're art lovers!

Excerpt from email from the Student Bar Association (no pun intended):

Since the [Law School] does not condone drinking, we are hosting a tour of some of the finest architecture the Pubs in Chicago have to offer. Saturday, February 10th, we will be visiting some of the finest pubs around Lincoln Park/wrigleyville. Nothing is more impressive than they way Beaumont's ceiling is supported by 4 weight-bearing "dancing" poles or the fine craftsmanship that went into creating Barleycorn's 21 beer taps.

Did it come with satisfaction guaranteed?

Prof: Take my summary (of the history of philosophy) for what it’s worth. You paid an enormous amount for it.

What do you get if you baptize Nietzche?

Prof: Thomas Aquinas is Aristotle baptized.

You were really gonna cite that?

From a 1968 2nd Circuit case (our friend Judge Friendly, who else?), discussing the foreseeability of a drunk sailor stupidly sinking a boat:

Moreover, the proclivity of seamen to find solace for solitude by copious resort to the bottle while ashore has been noted in opinions too numerous to warrant citation.