Shall we assume we've made our word quota?

From McQuade v. Stoneham:

We will assume that Stoneham put him out when he might have retained him, merely in order to get rid of him.

If you sold him, would you report capital gain?

Prof (re: how a consumption tax could work): What is savings? ... Do I include the money I spend on my child? Because I see him as equity--as an investment--right?

And the golfers didn't send out W-2s?

Student (re: a past summer job): And there were no tax return forms hanging around the caddyshack. ... unless you were caddying for someone who worked for the IRS.

But it gives tax profs something to do.

Prof: There's an area [of tax] called Behavioral Research. To me, there's just one question to ask: How do you feel about paying taxes? And we all know the answer to that, so we're done.

But it's a member of the family!

Prof: You still have people trying to claim their pet's medical expenses. They just see "medical expenses" and don't read past that. They figure their dog is a dependent, right?

It's just a piece of paper ... right?

Prof: If you're married and you're both paying in the maximum [to Social Security], when you're ready to retire you should get divorced and just live together. ... Make sure you change the address on one of the checks.

Thank you. That was helpful career advice.

Prof: Most fraudsters [get caught because they] don't know when to quit. So if you're ever going to steal from your employer, set some kind of target, and when you hit it, get the heck out of there. Go to the Cayman Islands or something.

The delights of Business Associations

via IM:

Student 1: It’s early afternoon and he’s talking about proxy voting.
Student 2: delightful
Student 2: maybe you'd like a root canal?
Student 1: do I get anesthetic?

I'm game!

Student 1: [goes off about how men communicate]

Student 2: All this talk about manliness... It makes me want to... eat a cheeseburger!

Not unlike some of our classes...

Prof: I don’t know why he called his book “Sociological Jurisprudence.” We in graduate sociology always thought it should be called “The Painful Elaboration of the Obvious.”

Did it taste good?

Today was Jack's birthday and he brought in chicken for lunch for the whole class. Korean kids are terrible beggars especially when it comes to food. Chris (in gr. 6) is especially bad. We were all eating and Chris was watching us, clearly desiring some.

Me: "Chris, you can look all you want but you are not getting any chicken."
Chris: "That is ok - I am eating with my eyes. Shhhh!"

So does the court win the case?

From Angel v. Angel, a child custody case out of Ohio:

Neither counsel cited any authority for their respective contentions nor alluded to the Ohio Statutes relating to care, custody and control of minor children. This imposes an unfair burden on the Court.

1 year old today

I'd like to take a moment today and say Happy Birthday to the Frittering Away Blog. It was 1 year ago today that I was told I had to delete my blog (on my own brithday no less). And within 24 hours it was back up in this quote format....

So Happy Birthday Frittering!!

Do I really want to know?

Prof: Ask (student) sometime how he came to know so much about the technology behind feminine hygiene products.

Try again.

Prof: Most people, when you say "taxes," what do they think about?
Student: Cigarettes.
Prof: Well, at least I didn't get "alcohol." ... Most people think about income taxes.

I guess the glass is half empty.

Prof: When I get the (Social Security) statements quarterly or annually or whatever, I just kind of laugh and throw them in a drawer. There's no way. ... Eventually they'll be like, "If you start taking out (your money) when you're 90..."

Sure. It's my light reading on weekends.

Prof: Have you ever just sat down and read the tax code?

So we should get on your good side?

Prof: Grading in this class is so abstract.

Later:

Prof: I'm going to evaluate you based on the interest you show in here. So ... it would be to your benefit to fake it.

Guess that didn't work out like you'd planned.

Prof: This is supposed to be a seminar. There are supposed to be about ten to twelve of you in here, and we're supposed to sit around and talk about tax policy. ... but there are twenty-six of you.

Hold me back...

First, let me apologize for my recent lack of posting; I've just returned to classes after a 10-week internship. Unfortunately, my tax accountant colleagues were not nearly as quotable as my professors. Spending all that time in a classroom must do something to a person.

Anyway, on with the show...

Prof (describing a group project): You'll like it about as well as you'll like just about any other required educational activity.

Did you tell the SEC about your lemonade stand?

From Business Associations:

…[T]he securities laws apply to lots of things that don’t look very much like securities at first glance. For example, investments in worm farms.

Only effective way I can think of

From Business Associations:

It is perhaps a cheap way of getting your attention, but it is nevertheless worth pointing out that securities regulation issues reportedly are the single most common source of legal malpractice claims against business lawyers.

That was free.

Prof: Men and women speak different dialects, and men, the quicker you learn to translate, the better chance you have of having (and keeping) a significant other.

I don't remember that from Greek class.

Prof: Hercules is the Greek word for muscles… and for doing stupid things while you’re drunk.

Good point. Do I get a refund?

Prof: There’s no reason that you should borrow large amounts of money so that the school can pay me an obscene salary to teach you about clothes when the emperor doesn’t wear any.

...and if I have shinguards.

Prof: If you went to visit a married friend and he said “Hey, come on in, watch the game,” and his wife said “Under no circumstances am I allowing you into my house.” Would you go in?

Student: Depends who’s playing.

And the car was from Jupiter...

Prof: Can a dog sniff the car?

Student: Yes, that would be okay.

Prof: What about a robot probe?

Student: No, that would be a violation.

Prof: What if it was a dog that was in an accident and was half-dog, half-robot?

Student: Um?

Vote for Pedro

[when discussing a tax provision that denies business deductions for drug dealers]

Student: Does this ever come up? I mean do drug dealers really file tax returns?

Prof: I don’t think there are many drug dealers filing tax returns and trying to deduct their flights to Columbia.

Student: So why is this in here?

Prof: Because some Congressman wanted to show his constituents he was tough on drugs.


HT: the Bard