Not enough explosions.

Prof: You can destroy feudalism with trusts if you want. The crusades and the plague did that pretty well too. But nobody makes movies about trusts. I don’t know why.

Not-so-sacred trusts

Prof: And this [part of trust law] has a whole different history completely apart from saving souls and dissing Benedictines.

Editor's note: Trust law is the Benedictines' fault! Really! Ask me about it sometime. Crazy monks...

Trial procedure explained.

Prof: There are two definitions for trusts, but I only had room for one on the board, and it’s the one I don’t like. It’s the one courts use when they want to mystify people, especially in jury instructions. The jury instruction is mostly a tool for mystification.

I never watch it.

Prof: I don’t know if you’d ever seen Dirty Sexy Money [TV show]. If you haven’t, don’t—it’s a waste of time… It’s on Wednesdays at 10, I think.

Is there a movie about you, too?

Prof: Sometimes I feel like Forrest Gump. ... One day I was [somewhere in NC] and George Steinbrenner was out there, and needed directions or something. And he said, 'I'm George Steinbrenner.' And I thought, 'Yes, but how is that going to help you find the [expletive] ballpark?'

New source of tax law?

Prof: What is a 'treasure trove' under Regulation 1.61-14?
Student: Is it kind of like Scrooge McDuck?
Prof: Well, yes, but you have to follow the cartoon closely.

It's true. Look it up.

[At professor's house]

Prof, to his young daughter, very seriously: Don't name your children Wayne. People named Wayne are more likely to go to jail.

Daughter: Why, Daddy?

Prof, earnestly: Science.

They said it more accurately represented our future jobs.

[regarding the new law school building being built]

Student 1: They said it's going to have showers!

Student 2: Wow. That's both awesome and depressing at the same time.

Expectations

"When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor."

From a poster on despair.com.