Friday, September 29, 2006
Right now we're working on Robert Louis Stevenson's "My Shadow"
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me
I have a little shadow that goes out with me....
There was no more poem after that. I was laughing so hard. Maybe you had to be there??
Stevenson would be so insulted :D
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
"The case that follows ... has little if any remaining importance for the rule it adopts."
[...which is exactly how much remaining interest I have in reading it.--ed.]
Note: The first printed line under the case heading is as follows: "The facts in the case are complicated and confusing." That's the part where I went to get another cup of coffee.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
- "[Scientists] all think they're so smart, but eventually a tax person will get the best of them. Because we know arithmetic, and they know differential equations."
- "Seven minus ten equals zero. That's exactly right. No, really!" (ed.--this had to do with taxes, so it really was right)
- "The way the tax law works is, they're gonna say, 'Is there any way we can tax these retained earning as dividends?'"
- "I'm putting on my border collie suit here and I'll nip at your heels on this for the rest of the semester."
- "And I don't want you all going around naked or looking like you don't know what's going on because you've been in my class." (ed.--I have no idea where that came from!)
- "Any CEO who has a nickname like 'Chainsaw,' uh, it's probably not only a company you don't want to work for; it's probably a company you don't want to audit."
- Re: hackers lowballing to get janitorial contracts: "Think about it. You're cleaning out trash cans, but you can clean out the company's bank accounts at the same time."
- Prof: "We have a lot of people sick--mono, strep throat--" Student: "Bird flu." Prof: "What? ... Oh, bird flu. I thought you said 'birthdays.' Like, twenty-first birthdays, maybe."
- "The KGB is still all over the U.S., is my understanding. I'm paranoid. ... O'Reilly said it last night, so it must be true, right?"
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
"A regrettable situation! but is it one that requires a burnt offering or that demands the swinging of human forms from the gibbet to gratify the rancor of intimate observers? ... While [plaintiff's] counsel has brilliantly unraveled the mysteries of a pleading and argued well for the certainty of causes not united and separately stated, yet he has not woven a pattern of justice out of the materials at hand whereby to adjudicate liability on the part of respondents."
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
[You may need to be somewhat familiar with Notre Dame culture to realize the irony in this query. Let's just say that, yes, we did see the game, and no, we don't want to talk about it. --ed.]
Friday, September 15, 2006
The only problem is that she'll be able to do the same at some point I'm sure...we did a Pirate skit in chapel the otherday. I read the story she acted it out. It was to tell the kids that they needed to come to school dressed like a pirate for "Talk Like a Pirate Day". They loved it.
Student: Why does the IRS depreciate the basis of things like property, when it is obviously appreciating in value? That doesn't make any sense.
Prof: [mumble mumble words that don't make a lot of sense] The short answer is, Congress decided it should.
Woman student: I just push all the buttons at once. Sometimes I win.
Prof: Oh. Well it's nice to see women playing that game. [indicating another woman student who had her hand up] You're both on call.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Last week two of my girls had birthdays on the same day. Dain's mum brought spaghetti from on of the many pizza places. Laura's mum brought the cake and drinks. We were eating and I was with the girls. The following took place;
Dain: "Miss Straub, I bet you are glad that this lunch does not need chopsticks."
"Because you are not very good with them."
"How do you know?"
"I watch you eat at lunch when you use chopsticks."
Grrrr...why can't they pay that much attention in class...
Chris (one of Delaura's students) has informed her and myself that Americans have long noses "like chopsticks". The mental image that creates....
Saturday, September 09, 2006
John's Spelling Test:
durama (actual word: drama)
agesabition (actual word: exhibition)
babitaion (actual word: habitation)
We have a talk with the fifth and sixth grade about personal hygene. Miss Straub talked to the boys about bacteria and how it can make you stinky. It really grossed some of them about, and one of them took it particularly to heart. The next morning the fifth grade classroom smelled of man's perfume as Jason has made sure that he smelled nice. I would have been happy for Dial soap, but that works too.
Miss Anderson's quiz:
Question: Which two middle eastern countries were at war this summer?
Student's Answer: Canada and Vermont.
Note: student was serious.............
Friday, September 08, 2006
Student #1: Well, unless they came up with some really contorted definition of "flat"...
Student #2: Well sure, why are we thinking in three dimensions anyway? That's so arbitrary.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
This is John Choi’s essay in all its glory, save the messy handwriting. If anyone can tell me what he’s talking about I’d appreciate it…
1. A pirras and chickens alike in several ways
2. Bath a pirras and a chickens are around and most have a small hole in the middle.
3. Bath a pirras and a chickens are about three or four inches in diameter and about an inch thick.
4. pirras and chickens are also similar in popularity
5. many people bay pirras or chickens for a special lunch.
6. Bath pirras shops and doughnut shops are popular places for families and friends to enjoy together.
7. pirras are baked in the oven but chickens are fired.
8. Although they look alike pirras and chickens are different in many ways.
9. Pirras have cherry insider while chickens are coarse inside like a fired food
10. many people slice their pirras and eat them as meet with cheese with them.
11. I usually have cereal for breakfast
12. however most people like to eat their chicken with nothing on them
just discovered something - John copied the essay from the example in the book but changed only the subjects. He gets a 0% and has to rewrite it for Monday. It's still amusing though.
[Students all look puzzled]
Student: "What about the other states?"
Prof: "They don't have income tax."
(And I was thinking that either, (1) the professor was showing us the "unofficial" addition method to use when figuring taxable income, or (2) he had forgotten the addition of a few states since he was younger.)
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
[in Family Law]
Student: The husband should be able to sue the wife in tort for hiring a hitman to kill him, but only as long as he's prepared for her to bring counterclaims for infliction of emotional distress.
Prof: Nah, there was none of that. She was just tired of him. I don't know what her problem was.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Professor: Well, the IRS tends to protect its own. Although I did know one guy who was killed by the Church of Scientology...
"Miss Straub! I lost my head!" I knew what he meant (even English speaking kids might say something like that) but could not resist...
"It looks like it's on your body Jamie."
Jamie gets a very confused look and feels his head...
After a second (still feeling for his own head) "No Miss Straub, my cup's head."