Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Editor's note: Trust law is the Benedictines' fault! Really! Ask me about it sometime. Crazy monks...
Prof: There are two definitions for trusts, but I only had room for one on the board, and it’s the one I don’t like. It’s the one courts use when they want to mystify people, especially in jury instructions. The jury instruction is mostly a tool for mystification.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Student 1: They said it's going to have showers!
Student 2: Wow. That's both awesome and depressing at the same time.
Monday, December 03, 2007
From a poster on despair.com.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
"This might be an opportunity - with so many people gone - to talk about them. Share some gossip or something."
"We're not going to talk about those cases, but I wanted you to know they're out there, because they're really funny. . . None of them are actually about beets, but I just enjoy saying it."
Monday, November 19, 2007
Prof: And how much was the house appraised for?
Student: I think it was $29,000, which seems low for Welsley.
Prof: Yeah! You can’t buy a manhole cover in Welsley for $29,000! Apparently this is a town in which mansions can be appraised completely independently from their value.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Prof (preparing to read part of a tax treatise aloud): This is sort of like Bible reading or something. ... It doesn't have quite the same morals or influence that the Bible has, but if you're in the partnership [tax] area it does have a . . . lot of influence.
Prof: There are several things you shouldn't do in life. Don't be the tax matters partner. It's right up there with signing payroll tax forms.
Prof: I've graded enough papers to know that--I hate to say it--I really could teach my cats better than I could teach some of these students.
Prof [brings up an especially difficult area of partnership tax]: I could assign that for the final project. I don't know if I have the courage to do that. I don't want to go home at night and find that my house is gone, my cats have disappeared....
Prof: I think, at least by my standards, I’m fairly good-natured, and I’m not vindictive, which is more than I can say for many of my colleagues. … It’s not just here, it’s [other schools]. They go around in capes and robes and stuff, and berets, and they seem to think this exempts them from having to behave well toward other human beings. … It’s a problem in the academic world. … You can quote me on it, not that anybody would care anyway.
[Prof went on to say that most of his fellow-profs are very nice people. I think these comments were directed more toward academia in general.]
Prof: When I was younger, there was a requirement, which I sort of didn’t mind, that you [as a faculty member] had to attend graduation. … And it’s [expletive] hot out there, and somebody drones on for like 20 minutes, and then they have to hand out the diplomas or whatever. … They made the business school march in last. … So we marched up to the podium, and there wasn’t any room for us, so we just marched up to the back of the podium, and out the back door, and disappeared. And I haven’t been back since.
Prof (realizing that class time is ebbing away): Gosh, I've gone on and on, almost like a Mark Twain monologue or something.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
He followed it up with: "Here's a clue. If you do this in accounting class, don't smile. Nobody ever smiles when they're taking notes."
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Prof: Family members tend to show up [to court] and look saintly—“Yeah, I love my grandmother more than the Red Sox. I even went to visit her once—it was great!” Institutional beneficiaries can’t “show up” so well. Like the Sierra Club—what are they going to do, come in with a bunch of trees?
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Prof: [After explaining that the will in question was in
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Prof: [Asks whether we think the punishment of the former Tyco execs was appropriate]
Student: [Says that he thinks the punishment was a bit excessive]
Prof: How do you know that's excessive?
Student: The market didn't set that penalty!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Prof: I have no idea. You pray you never see it.
Student 2: There's a homework problem [with that situation].
Prof: Really? ... I assigned that?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
If the will creates an alternative devise with respect to a devise for which a substitute gift is created by paragraph (1) or (2), the substitute gift is superseded by the alternative devise only if an expressly designated devisee of the alternative devise is entitled to take under the will.
If your response to that is not “eh?” You are a much smarter person than I am. I diagrammed the sentence and have concluded that it doesn’t mean anything.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
[This was the Monday morning after Notre Dame football was humiliated by Penn State.]
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Thank you, and have a good day.
(Becca--I just fixed the link for you. ~mbr)
Thanks, Mel! You're great. I think it was the weird quotation marks from Word that Blogger can't handle.)
UPDATE: The survey is fixed too. We got our SurveyMonkey guy to do his magic.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Guest speaker: Dunkin' Donuts is gonna blow the doors off everybody. ... Krispy Kreme's coffee? BLEAH! It's yucky, right?
Guest speaker: Apple is the best brand extension company in the universe. [Lists examples: iPod, iPod Nano, iPod with video, etc.] ... These guys [Krispy Kreme]? Hot donut! Eighty years later? Hot donut!
Guest speaker: There are so many people out there willing to pay incredible multiples for junk. And you've got junk. So ... put the lipstick on the pig.
Prof: There is never a lapse problem that isn’t the result of bad drafting. Or nuclear war.
Prof: Oh… Yeah… That ruins my theory. Um. I’m going to have a theory about that on Friday. It’ll be good, but you’ll all know that it’s a rationalization… Well for now let’s ignore that, because that makes me look bad.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Student (apparently from NY): You really had to start off class like that?
Prof: Think of it as a support group. ... Did you have a feeling you wanted to share?
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Student: Is that what they make? Cool.
Prof: Well, it would be more if you lived in Manhattan, but you wouldn't be able to keep any of it. You could live in a loft with eight other people.
(Disclaimer: I'm not familiar at all with Obama's plan--all I know of it comes from our 2-minute discussion in class today. I apologize if this post misrepresents it or him at all.)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The court notes that Rev. Halverstadt did not provide specific answers to business questions. In fact, Christian Science ministers are not supposed to give direct advice....
Have you ever been in a situation in which you paid substantial sums to discuss things with someone who asked many questions and rarely provided answers? How much tuition are you paying now? Mr. Amend didn't get concrete answers; neither do you. How dumb was he? How dumb are you?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Prof: Or they spend money on that skinny half-crap whatever it is they sell… Friends don’t let friends buy Starbucks.
Apparently I didn't miss too much?
Monday, September 10, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
Student: We put him on the spot.
Prof: [chuckles] I'm very rarely on the spot, because the university can do so little about me ... unless I run around naked or something. ... They're really better off just leaving me alone.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Student (criticizing the suggestion): But that's why we have auditors.
Prof: And ethics, and long-term vision....
Student: Isn't it, like, a projection?
(In defense of that student, s/he did elaborate on that point.)
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Prof: And if that sounds like Greek to you, it would sound very different in Greek.
Prof: Marla dies with a $400,000 estate… Good for her. It’s always nice when people die with wealth.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
Professor: This semester is compressed, like an accordion. I’ll tell you why someday, but only after several beers.
Professor: Your exam is on 10/10, so you all know that it’s on a Wednesday. 10/10 is of course not a Wednesday every year, because that would be stupid.
Professor, re: Midterm exam: These questions will have real answers, not like essays.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Tourist to man in Air Force uniform: Is that your helicopter?
Air Force man: Well, sir, that helicopter belongs to the taxpayers, so technically it’s your helicopter.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Prof: You can only look in containers that could conceal what you're actually looking for. So you can't look inside matchboxes if the probable cause is for smuggling baby harper seals.... unless... no, that's gross.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Guest speaker 2: That's kind of the approach the SEC took. You could delay them either with a fog of uncertainty or a fog of fear.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
[Rats. There goes my tax evasion scheme!]
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Group member 2: That's because my brain works in a weird way, and I get all these great ideas in my head and can't communicate them.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Student 1: Yeah. I don't want to get caught.
Student 2: Well, it seems like they'll give you most of it if you argue a little bit.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Prof [fake accent]: The ancient rite of the British farmer of taking other people’s land!
Monday, April 09, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Me: "Chris, you can look all you want but you are not getting any chicken."
Chris: "That is ok - I am eating with my eyes. Shhhh!"
Monday, March 26, 2007
Neither counsel cited any authority for their respective contentions nor alluded to the Ohio Statutes relating to care, custody and control of minor children. This imposes an unfair burden on the Court.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
So Happy Birthday Frittering!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Anyway, on with the show...
Prof (describing a group project): You'll like it about as well as you'll like just about any other required educational activity.
Monday, March 19, 2007
It is perhaps a cheap way of getting your attention, but it is nevertheless worth pointing out that securities regulation issues reportedly are the single most common source of legal malpractice claims against business lawyers.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Student: Depends who’s playing.
Student: Yes, that would be okay.
Prof: What about a robot probe?
Student: No, that would be a violation.
Prof: What if it was a dog that was in an accident and was half-dog, half-robot?
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Student: Does this ever come up? I mean do drug dealers really file tax returns?
Prof: I don’t think there are many drug dealers filing tax returns and trying to deduct their flights to Columbia.
Student: So why is this in here?
Prof: Because some Congressman wanted to show his constituents he was tough on drugs.
HT: the Bard
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Prof: “Casing the place?” Are you part of the underworld?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Prof: That’s reasonable? So, maybe the driver is weaving and speeding because he’s… mounting his rocket launcher?
Student: Well, maybe LSD makes you weave and speed in a certain way. I don’t know.
Prof: Sure you don’t.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Student: Well, being that I don’t know a whole lot about business associations—
Prof: That’s why you’re here.
Student: And I am enriching myself in the discipline daily.
Prof: With great wonder and excitement, no doubt.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Prof: She’s not dead, don’t worry. We’ll make this PG-13. She’s going to be okay.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Prof: Let’s say you are my daughter, and you have a curfew of 10:00. The prom goes until 12 or 1. Now if you ask me if you can go to the prom, and I say “yes,” knowing the prom times, have I impliedly given you permission to stay out past 10 that night?
Student: If you were my dad, no.
Monday, February 05, 2007
I've never followed AI before, but I had to check out Jon's bro, and I'm glad I did. I think I found my new favorite band. I know, I know, it's lame to jump on the bandwagon so late, but I really didn't know Chris and his band were so good before the (pseudo)media caught on. Jon, I'm holding you personally responsible for not telling me before.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Since the [Law School] does not condone drinking, we are hosting a tour of some of the finest architecture the Pubs in Chicago have to offer. Saturday, February 10th, we will be visiting some of the finest pubs around Lincoln Park/wrigleyville. Nothing is more impressive than they way Beaumont's ceiling is supported by 4 weight-bearing "dancing" poles or the fine craftsmanship that went into creating Barleycorn's 21 beer taps.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Moreover, the proclivity of seamen to find solace for solitude by copious resort to the bottle while ashore has been noted in opinions too numerous to warrant citation.