Friday, December 15, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
2) Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas (I'm not sure where home is??)
3) Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
4) Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And----
5) Multiple Personality Disorder----We Three Queens Disoriented Are
6) Paranoid---Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us
7) Borderline Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why
8) Full Personality Disorder--- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire
9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
10) Agoraphobia---I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
11) Senile Dementia---Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder---I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
13) Social Anxiety Disorder---Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
and the last one (for Monica) (=
14) Attention Deficit Disorder--We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!.............HEY IT IS!!!!! ;)
Friday, December 08, 2006
Student 1: I think I have a pretty good handle on things
Student 1: it would help me to hash everything out
Student 1: if that meant TRYING to explain it
Student 2: good for you
Student 2: explain it to my cat
Student 2: while i read the study guide
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Prof: Everything’s fair game. The good news is there is multiple choice. So if you see numbers and you don’t want to deal with them, what does it cost, right?
Happy Birthday Melanie!! She is more than likely being a good student and studying for finals right now.
Melanie is the one who resurrected my blog when I was forced to delete it under dubious circumstances which I shall not go into here...
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Prof: Student [in role of prosecutor], are you going to give the defendant a 5(k)(1) for his help?
Student: Ummm… No.
Prof: That’s a fairly arbitrary exercise of discretion there.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
“Attempts to do this [frame a definition] in terms of the degree of clothing adorning the contract cannot explain all the cases, however helpful they me in deciding some…; it would be hard to think of a contract more ‘naked’ than a debenture…”
“The fact that there are a host of recent cases revolving around self-employment tax due on insurance termination payments suggests, correctly, that the self-employment tax generates considerable litigation.”
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
"States routinely exchange information with each other for unemployment purposes through an arrangement sometimes referred to as "INTERNET."
Has it really been that long?
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
"This is not the kind of question law professors like to ask because answering it would require them to do degrading things like empirical research."
[Originally posted by Becca. Reposted by Monica to try to fix techie bugs.]
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Student 1: So think about what you're gonna do with your dollar!
Student 2 (who is perhaps ready to be finished with school): Maybe I'll go buy a noose to hang myself.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
"A complex trust is any trust that is not a simple trust."
Yes, folks, that's all the explanation you get. From there we launch into an explanation of how said complex trusts are taxed.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Student: Does Cindy have a sister?
Prof: *laughs* It’s a hypo.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
"Because it is unnecessary to our decision, we express no opinion on whether supporting a Church's founder and his family aboard a yacht cruising the Mediterranean constitutes a reasonable Church expense."
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Prof: That’s been my policy with students. Have you noticed that?
Student: Well, I’ve heard stories from your first-year students…
Prof: That’s first year. [Student #2] already said it works for the younger students.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Student: I get more girls without them.
Prof: Yeah. I can tell [observing who’s sitting near student]… You’re surrounded by one girl. And that line of guys behind you… That’s all I wanted to ask. [Calls on another student]
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
"Welch is a famous and often-cited decision. This reflects its showy, relentless phrasemaking and the fame of its author [Cardozo] rather than its capacity to aid in the analysis of subsequent fact patterns, which (to put it as kindly as possible) is extremely limited. Pompous and needlessly Delphic, it has generated considerable confusion."
Prof: Don't you dare quote any of the language in this case back to me on the exam. Automatic five points off.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
"The fact that a reasonable person would not have been deceived [by a 'scheme (that) was aimed at an idiot'] would be no more relevant than the fact that a murder victim would have survived had he been wearing a bulletproof vest."
"There may be attempts so feeble, such as sticking a pin into a voodoo doll of your enemy in an effort to kill him, that the attempter is entitled to be acquitted, as a harmless fool. The defendants' scheme, though harebrained, was not that harebrained."
Monday, October 23, 2006
montana chica40: so if I had kids because I'm Catholic and don't use birth control, can I deduct the cost of their care?
montana chica40: :-)
LegolasBec: you could try it...
montana chica40: probably not
LegolasBec: Yeah, I wouldn't get pregnant in reliance.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Prof: Do you have to know?
Student: It makes us feel better. ... It helps me rationalize.
Prof: It might make some of you feel worse. All right, as long as you understand that I care about each of you as individuals, it was 79.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
(The kids confuse "lend" and "borrow" all the time.)
Thursday, October 12, 2006
[Ed.--I'm bitter with Blogger for not letting me in while I was still in class and could still remember the entire quotation. It was good. This particular prof has some sort of issue with engineers, I think.]
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
This week at SCS is Spirit Week and today we did the teacher skit. The kindergarten teacher is Korean and her line was "Luke I am your father" (no it was not a Star Wars skit - we chose our lines and her son is named Luke). Once she got back to her class her students (who speak very little English) kept telling her "I am your student". It was cute to see how they picked up on that. This is a picture of the kindergarteners doing their career song. If you look closely at the Fireman you can see he has a cup of fire in his hand. It was sooo cute.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
Friday, October 06, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
- I've always dreamed of having a gnome [i.e., assistant] or something. ... If I were at a great big school teaching 500 students, I would have a gnome. But I don't want to teach 500 students.
- I'm glad [the computer that I just accidentally shut down] isn't some sort of nuclear reactor. I always loved chemistry, but I wasn't any good in the lab.
- Again, if you miss a [easy] question like that ... you need to do something else. Become an artist or a marketer or something.
- As an aside, if you have family out there, make sure they die in the right state.
- I'm really into saving people money. I think it adds value to the course.
- I always hear about a professor being brilliant, and sometimes I think the measure of brilliance is how fast he can put his subjects to sleep.
- Oh, man. Too many numbers and names and whatever. It's a wonder I can find my way back up to my office.
- There were a lot of really good grades [on the test], and a lot of not-so-good grades. What distinguished the good and the not-so-good, other than a lot of red marks...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
Right now we're working on Robert Louis Stevenson's "My Shadow"
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me
I have a little shadow that goes out with me....
There was no more poem after that. I was laughing so hard. Maybe you had to be there??
Stevenson would be so insulted :D
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
"The case that follows ... has little if any remaining importance for the rule it adopts."
[...which is exactly how much remaining interest I have in reading it.--ed.]
Note: The first printed line under the case heading is as follows: "The facts in the case are complicated and confusing." That's the part where I went to get another cup of coffee.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
- "[Scientists] all think they're so smart, but eventually a tax person will get the best of them. Because we know arithmetic, and they know differential equations."
- "Seven minus ten equals zero. That's exactly right. No, really!" (ed.--this had to do with taxes, so it really was right)
- "The way the tax law works is, they're gonna say, 'Is there any way we can tax these retained earning as dividends?'"
- "I'm putting on my border collie suit here and I'll nip at your heels on this for the rest of the semester."
- "And I don't want you all going around naked or looking like you don't know what's going on because you've been in my class." (ed.--I have no idea where that came from!)
- "Any CEO who has a nickname like 'Chainsaw,' uh, it's probably not only a company you don't want to work for; it's probably a company you don't want to audit."
- Re: hackers lowballing to get janitorial contracts: "Think about it. You're cleaning out trash cans, but you can clean out the company's bank accounts at the same time."
- Prof: "We have a lot of people sick--mono, strep throat--" Student: "Bird flu." Prof: "What? ... Oh, bird flu. I thought you said 'birthdays.' Like, twenty-first birthdays, maybe."
- "The KGB is still all over the U.S., is my understanding. I'm paranoid. ... O'Reilly said it last night, so it must be true, right?"
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
"A regrettable situation! but is it one that requires a burnt offering or that demands the swinging of human forms from the gibbet to gratify the rancor of intimate observers? ... While [plaintiff's] counsel has brilliantly unraveled the mysteries of a pleading and argued well for the certainty of causes not united and separately stated, yet he has not woven a pattern of justice out of the materials at hand whereby to adjudicate liability on the part of respondents."
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
[You may need to be somewhat familiar with Notre Dame culture to realize the irony in this query. Let's just say that, yes, we did see the game, and no, we don't want to talk about it. --ed.]
Friday, September 15, 2006
The only problem is that she'll be able to do the same at some point I'm sure...we did a Pirate skit in chapel the otherday. I read the story she acted it out. It was to tell the kids that they needed to come to school dressed like a pirate for "Talk Like a Pirate Day". They loved it.
Student: Why does the IRS depreciate the basis of things like property, when it is obviously appreciating in value? That doesn't make any sense.
Prof: [mumble mumble words that don't make a lot of sense] The short answer is, Congress decided it should.
Woman student: I just push all the buttons at once. Sometimes I win.
Prof: Oh. Well it's nice to see women playing that game. [indicating another woman student who had her hand up] You're both on call.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Last week two of my girls had birthdays on the same day. Dain's mum brought spaghetti from on of the many pizza places. Laura's mum brought the cake and drinks. We were eating and I was with the girls. The following took place;
Dain: "Miss Straub, I bet you are glad that this lunch does not need chopsticks."
"Because you are not very good with them."
"How do you know?"
"I watch you eat at lunch when you use chopsticks."
Grrrr...why can't they pay that much attention in class...
Chris (one of Delaura's students) has informed her and myself that Americans have long noses "like chopsticks". The mental image that creates....
Saturday, September 09, 2006
John's Spelling Test:
durama (actual word: drama)
agesabition (actual word: exhibition)
babitaion (actual word: habitation)
We have a talk with the fifth and sixth grade about personal hygene. Miss Straub talked to the boys about bacteria and how it can make you stinky. It really grossed some of them about, and one of them took it particularly to heart. The next morning the fifth grade classroom smelled of man's perfume as Jason has made sure that he smelled nice. I would have been happy for Dial soap, but that works too.
Miss Anderson's quiz:
Question: Which two middle eastern countries were at war this summer?
Student's Answer: Canada and Vermont.
Note: student was serious.............
Friday, September 08, 2006
Student #1: Well, unless they came up with some really contorted definition of "flat"...
Student #2: Well sure, why are we thinking in three dimensions anyway? That's so arbitrary.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
This is John Choi’s essay in all its glory, save the messy handwriting. If anyone can tell me what he’s talking about I’d appreciate it…
1. A pirras and chickens alike in several ways
2. Bath a pirras and a chickens are around and most have a small hole in the middle.
3. Bath a pirras and a chickens are about three or four inches in diameter and about an inch thick.
4. pirras and chickens are also similar in popularity
5. many people bay pirras or chickens for a special lunch.
6. Bath pirras shops and doughnut shops are popular places for families and friends to enjoy together.
7. pirras are baked in the oven but chickens are fired.
8. Although they look alike pirras and chickens are different in many ways.
9. Pirras have cherry insider while chickens are coarse inside like a fired food
10. many people slice their pirras and eat them as meet with cheese with them.
11. I usually have cereal for breakfast
12. however most people like to eat their chicken with nothing on them
just discovered something - John copied the essay from the example in the book but changed only the subjects. He gets a 0% and has to rewrite it for Monday. It's still amusing though.
[Students all look puzzled]
Student: "What about the other states?"
Prof: "They don't have income tax."
(And I was thinking that either, (1) the professor was showing us the "unofficial" addition method to use when figuring taxable income, or (2) he had forgotten the addition of a few states since he was younger.)
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
[in Family Law]
Student: The husband should be able to sue the wife in tort for hiring a hitman to kill him, but only as long as he's prepared for her to bring counterclaims for infliction of emotional distress.
Prof: Nah, there was none of that. She was just tired of him. I don't know what her problem was.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Professor: Well, the IRS tends to protect its own. Although I did know one guy who was killed by the Church of Scientology...
"Miss Straub! I lost my head!" I knew what he meant (even English speaking kids might say something like that) but could not resist...
"It looks like it's on your body Jamie."
Jamie gets a very confused look and feels his head...
After a second (still feeling for his own head) "No Miss Straub, my cup's head."
Thursday, August 31, 2006
"Is that a plan?" I asked.
"No." John said
Oooookayyyy....expained again, same question, same answer. Try again...same thing. Finally I asked him what he thought was a good plan.
"No, no Miss Straub. It was not a plan. It was an accident. Matthew not mean to take my bag with him. He have the same bag as me."
Ah language barriers...I did explain to him what I meant about "Is that a plan."
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Class: *nervous laughter*
Monday, August 28, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
"I depress my thumb into his back."
Jack used some English Vocab "imperative";
“I was imperatived by my sister.”
He used interrogative and declairative in similar ways.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The same professor, critiquing a sample letter in the textbook: "The people who wrote the book are in California, so everything is all loose and casual. ... 'By the way, half your family died, we're really sorry, see you at the barbecue!'"
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
- "That's like ignoring a gaping flesh wound." (on ignoring anti-virus scans)
- "I could treat that with medication, but I choose not to." (on his tendency to save important documents on his hard drive, his thumb drive, and a CD)
- "[Your laptop] doesn't like to be where you don't like to be. I don't like the trunk of my car in August, it doesn't like the trunk of my car in August."
- "If you need WeatherBug, try the window. It doesn't tell you the temperature, but you can tell if it's raining."
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
...Our building has several levels, one of which is the "parking" (or, as the elevator button is labeled, "P") level. A few weeks ago, my co-worker got onto an elevator (heading down) that was already occupied by a man from another floor of the building. The conversation reportedly went like this:
My co-worker: [Steps into elevator]
Man: Are you going down to "P"?
My co-worker: [Choking back laughter] Yes...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Said by the 3-year-old I baby sat for today: "Will you please put on Bach's Christmas Oratorio? But the Brandenburg Concertos are in the CD player and you will have to take them out." Would that all three year olds were that smart....
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Welcome back, Joanna!!!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
"You never know whether you'll have the lean cows or--"
He stopped abruptly as he realized what he was saying.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
"The complete pleasure of swimming must be accompanied by intermittent periods of rest and relaxation beyond the water's edge. See State ex rel. Thornton v. Hay, 254 Or. 584, 599-602, 462 P.2d 671, 678-79 (1969) (Denecke, J., concurring)."
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Professor: Is this terrifying, or is this something we should be proud of?
Student: [commences to explain why the residential community model is a good one while the professor immediately goes into a sneezing fit]
Student: Do you really hate it that much?
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
Student (with the unfortunate last name of Gasperini): I’m afraid I’m going to have to recuse myself for this for conflict of interest.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Professor: One of the tools they have is this subpoena duces tecum, which is Latin for “gimme all the documents you have” or “come to our offices and eat our doughnuts and bring the documents so we can look at them.”
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
A professor of mine who is a former Roman Catholic describes the reaction of her college's Catholic Club to the pope's proclamation that Catholic women should not use birth control:
[We wrote] an article with the suggestion that all the Catholic women bring their birth control pills to church to give to the nuns to string together to use as rosary beads. The bishop stopped our newspaper.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Student: I’m not on call. I’m just sitting in the front row.
Student: So I can see.
Prof: Well, for that kind of eager attitude, I’m going to make an exception for you. Tell us the facts of this case.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Monday, April 10, 2006
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Of course, I no longer get games and dolls for Christmas. But I've noticed that new electronic gadgets tend to have that same new-toy smell as Barbie accessories.
I got a new cell phone today. It smells great.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Maybe I should get some of those to put up at work.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Something that discusses how abortion relates to or affects American culture might be good.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Please quit smoking. Short of that, please try to smoke wearing a heavy jacket that you remove before coming to class. Your classmates who sit beside you like you very much, but they get headaches when they have to sit next to you for 50 minutes at a time and inhale the leftovers.
A classmate concerned for your health and hers
... and we have a tornado watch this morning, so I'm expecting another good storm any minute now!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Oh, and if I thought it couldn't get any better, I just harvested the pork loin I stuck in my crock pot this morning and left on low all day. Unbelievable! Try it yourself--slice a few cloves of garlic, stab your pork randomly and stick the garlic slices in. Then put the pork in a ziploc bag with 8 oz. Italian dressing and leave it in the fridge for a day. Remove to crock pot and leave on low for 8-10 hours. Actually, I didn't let is marinate that long. I figured it could do that while it cooked. But let me tell you, this is amazing pork.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
For those of you who have not visited before, Frittering Away is the former blog home of a friend of mine. The blog disappeared rather suddenly several days ago.
Why? I don't know the exact reason, and I may never know for sure. However, I do know that the blog disappeared very shortly after a meeting was to have occurred between my friend and a particular authority figure. That's a bit too much of a coincidence for me to overlook.
Let me clear: I am not laying the blame for the demise of this blog on anyone in particular, since I have heard neither side of the story. (So if you're an "authority figure" reading this, that means that my anonymous friend has not been spreading news of this situation to me. The blame for the Frittering Away Memorial Blog lies solely with yours truly.)