Procrastinate like a champion!

Law student in library: The internet's broken.... It's okay. There's nothing good on the internet anyway.

Extermination Fail

Prof: I’m sorry I’m late; my office has been overtaken by these huge ants. The construction on the quad must have unearthed them or something, and no one in the building has Raid, so I’ve been drowning them in 409.

Honest

Student: (on whether a lay witness can testify on whether a substance tasted like cocaine) If you put cocaine in your mouth it makes your mouth go numb.

Class: *pause* *think* *laugh*

Student: I saw it on Law and Order.

And also people who want to graduate

3L #1: I need to go to class.
3L #2: Class is for wimps and 2Ls.

The sky will fall?

Prof: So the Buddhists would say, like, ‘If our temple is too short,…’ I don’t really know enough about Buddhism to finish that sentence.

Another softball

Prof: Who is better organized: Angry neighbors whose property values are affected, or anarchists who take poor people into their homes?

No excuse for getting this one wrong.

Prof: As a city council member, would you vote for it?
Student: …
Prof: Or do you hate poor people?
Student: I would vote for it.

Maybe in Heaven

Matching question on the test: Used in plumbing.

Excluding the correct answer, the second most chosen answer: Diamonds

Never got the hang of Thursdays...

Prof: Justice Kennedy doesn’t use adverbs. He doesn’t believe in footnotes. And he says thing like “putting Hobbsian sticks in Lockean bundles.” Student, what does that mean?

Student: Uhh…

Prohibition = racist!

Prof: And maybe Kansas thought that by passing a prohibition law they could stop the Irish from moving to Kansas.

Is this a game?

Prof: What happens to people who drink too much?
Student: They get drunk.

First Amendment Pride

Prof: South Bend is home to the Kitty Kat Lounge. Kitty Kat Lounge is the site of the first Supreme Court case that found that nude dancing is speech. It is NOT a high end establishment.

Softball

Prof: Boston has a place called the “combat zone.” The “combat zone” is the only place where all manner of adult businesses are allowed. Student, would you think the “combat zone” is an orderly area, or a disorderly area?

Was somebody trying to be funny?

I am trying to set up my computer to print to a different printer in the office.

I knew I should have stayed home today....

Complete these steps before configuring your
printer(s).

• Print these instructions.

Exams

Things to do when your exam is done;

~ write a suicide note then wind your scarf around your neck as if to kill yourself
~ write in very tiny writing, several times, "i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams" on the exam paper, then fall asleep on said paper
~ play rock, paper, scissors. against yourself.
~ write out the lyrics to several of "The Sound of Music" songs on your exam
~ pick up a cardboard box and draw smiley faces all over it


Special thanks to the students of Seoul Christian School for their conrtibutions to this list.