My Magic-8 Ball concurs.

Student [in the role of defense counsel]: I would ask for a [Rule] 5(k)(1) motion [which, for you who care, would inform the sentencing judge that the defendant gave substantial assistance during the investigation]..

Prof: Student [in role of prosecutor], are you going to give the defendant a 5(k)(1) for his help?

Student: Ummm… No.

Prof: That’s a fairly arbitrary exercise of discretion there.

Somebody give that contract a blanket!

From Commissioner v. Ferrer, Judge Friendly:

“Attempts to do this [frame a definition] in terms of the degree of clothing adorning the contract cannot explain all the cases, however helpful they me in deciding some…; it would be hard to think of a contract more ‘naked’ than a debenture…”

Why are these words taking up space in my book?

From Federal Income Taxation, p. 727:

“The fact that there are a host of recent cases revolving around self-employment tax due on insurance termination payments suggests, correctly, that the self-employment tax generates considerable litigation.”

Tax reform, anyone?

From Nonprofit Organizations, p. 785:

“If this discussion of public support leaves you hopelessly confused, do not feel alone. The U.S. Tax Court stated that these rules are ‘almost frighteningly complex and technical.’”

Don't mess with lawyers!

Prof (re: getting the attention of a person whom a client was trying to sue): But after I threatened to take his house and put his family out on the street, he started taking my calls. After that I was busy for a week or two and I wouldn't take his calls--let him sweat a little bit.

Does Al Gore know about this?

Sifting through legislative history for a bill passed in 1988 I came across this gem:

"States routinely exchange information with each other for unemployment purposes through an arrangement sometimes referred to as "INTERNET."

Has it really been that long?

I hate Blogger bugs

:-(

Sorry, folks. Not sure what's causing the problems...

This is not the kind of question law students like to answer either.

From An Invitation to Family Law, in an evaluation of alimony policy:

"This is not the kind of question law professors like to ask because answering it would require them to do degrading things like empirical research."

[Originally posted by Becca. Reposted by Monica to try to fix techie bugs.]

Heh Heh

At least the authors have a sense of humor.

Tax textbook (p. 17-3): "[T]he estate tax is reincarnated for transfers by death after 2010."

Get it? Death? Reincarnation? Ha ha.

Just speculating

Student: You say these are simple examples. If we were to have, say, an exam, and I'm sure we will, would you say those examples will be this "simple"?

Prof: You will have an exam. Unless I get hit by a bus. Don't try it...

capitulation at its finest

Prof [after attempting to answer a student's question]: You still look confused. Did that answer your question?

Student: I'm probably about as close as I'm ever going to be to understanding this.

Winter in South Bend

Student 1, passing in staircase: Hey, stop looking out the window forlornly.

Student 2, still sadly staring out the window: ...Someday I'll see the sun again...

Surviving the IRS

Prof: (The character in the textbook problem) underpaid her taxes by a fairly noticeable amount, $250,000. ... Maybe she was one of those "Survivor" people. ... The IRS must be harder than hanging out under palm trees or in Mongolia or whatever.

McDonald's Dollar Menu?

[Background info: All the grad students got an email today that we were charged an extra $1 on our most recent tuition statements, and that the correction will be on our next statements. A discussion erupted before class.]

Student 1: So think about what you're gonna do with your dollar!
Student 2 (who is perhaps ready to be finished with school): Maybe I'll go buy a noose to hang myself.

Advanced communication

Speaker: The defendant has made it clear that he doesn’t want to go to jail and he’ll do anything.

Prof: How has he made it clear?

Speaker: He said, “I don’t want to go to jail and I’ll do anything.”

Is there a right to remain silent in class?

Prof: Let me give you a hint: The feds had no problem getting the kilo [of cocaine]. Student, could you get a kilo easily?

FBI Agent: [surveying room with raised eyebrow] Could anybody here?

BINGO!

Prof: I suppose there may be some isolated counties somewhere--Alabama comes to mind as a place where that might be the case--but in most places you're allowed to play bingo.

Pretty sure that's unrelated

Prof: Say you're a cemetery, but on the side you operate a driving range or something.

What your university really does

Prof (re: unrelated business income and Cornell's inheriting a pasta factory): They hope they're not just in the business of making pasta, although I have to admit that in the engineering program, they seem to make pasta out of the minds of some of the students...